Our little family gathered together for this picture on New Year’s Day this year looking forward to a fun year together, with more time spent making memories at the Crash Pad. But January did not end with the hope it started with for any of us.
In the early hours of January 31 we found our precious Inge collapsed at home, rushed to the U of M small animal hospital, and found ourselves saying goodbye ~ all in the blink of an hour. Our hearts were shattered and our world was changed forever.
The loss of a family member is difficult to process. The grieving is intense. Our family has experienced a seismic shift. As I type this, the three of us (Kurt, Solrig, and I) have returned to the Crash Pad for the first time without our little Inge. The absence is profound. We dreaded making this trip. But it became a comfort for all of us. A place to continue healing and a place to start remembering.
Inge came home on December 8, 2012. The center top picture above is her first day with us, getting to know her new big brother ~ Loki. She was part of our family for just over 12 years, since we were in our early 40’s and into our early 50’s. 12 years where both Kurt and I have fundamentally changed and learned to accept what comes with aging. 12 years to very much become best friends and a family.
When a furry family member comes home into our arms we know these hard days are ahead, but we convince ourselves somewhere along the line that perhaps this loved one will be different. Perhaps they will live forever. At the least, we thought Inge was well on track to make it maybe to 17! But we all know that what ultimately lies ahead is heartbreak.
We did not know Inge was struggling with illness until we returned from Arizona on January 14th and noticed loss of leg control on her right side. We learned at a vet visit on January 21 with consult from a neurologist that Inge likely had a tumor in her neck or top of her spine, or something going on with her brain. But with some new medication and improvement we expected to have many more days with her. We did not expect 10 days later we would be saying goodbye.
We have learned since from our wonderful team at the UofM that Inge likely had hemangiosarcoma and they believe on January 31 she suffered a critical tumor rupture. We will never know for sure, but it is comforting to know we did our best to help her in her time of distress and she did not live through a long drawn out period of suffering (like we have been through with our last two GSD’s (Dunker and Loki).
Inge was omnipresent in our lives, constantly there to hang out with us, snuggle with us, adventure with us, cook with us, monitor the household comings and goings, ride front and center between us in the Jeep, and tuck her head around the corner to come check on us if we were apart for too long. And although her barking was also omnipresent, the silence without it is deafening.
In memory of Inge, I am setting aside the next Crash Pad story I was working on (water and heat) and will be making a video story of Inge’s time at the Crash Pad (after I sort out the issue of my laptop drive being full). I have so many hours of video, so many happy memories. I look forward to sharing Inge’s Crash Pad story.
Thank you Inge for so many good years! You will forever be missed and forever be in our hearts. We love you with our whole being. ~ Mama, FK, Brother Soli